Wednesday, January 15, 2014

I'm Just Not Gonna Tell You All That Stuff

I could tell you all about the Christmas decorations being down and put away. Or I could tell you how once they were put away we painted two rooms, starting one at 10:30 at night, but I'm not gonna.
And I could tell you how a flash flood came up in our yard and street  late on a Saturday night.  Or I could tell you how much I miss you when I'm not here and you aren't here, but I'm not gonna.  Well I guess I just did.
And I could tell you how I think every wedding dress I work on is the most beautiful one I've ever seen...usually.  But I've got two more coming next week and a bridesmaid's dress too, so we will see!
Or I could tell you how breath takingly beautiful the snow was.
And I could tell you that at 15 degrees below zero Fahrenheit, it was nearly impossible to clear the  state roads and Interstate, let alone the side streets and county roads. I mean, I wasn't trying to clear them personally,
 but it appeared the "official street cleaner off-people" were having trouble doing it.
And I could tell you how much I loved driving around in the snow one night taking night time snow photos.
And I could tell you how beautiful I think these pine trees are.
And I could tell you how much fun it is to just watch people, when I'm supposed to be watching our Indiana Pacers pull off a win against the other team.
And I could tell you how my sons laughed when they saw this sign because they said I could have made it. 
 When all along, what I have said is,
"Remember we don't live according to the status quo. We do our best. We don't have to be like everyone else." 
 I guess they heard me say something different!
And our daughter couldn't figure out why they thought it was so funny. 
 Bless her heart.
I love her.
I will keep her.
I will keep the boys too!
And I could tell you how much more fun it is to sit on the porch when the flowers are blooming,
 but I realize you probably already know that.
And I could tell you about fixing a broken zipper in a certain college student's backpack because buying a new one would be a colossal waste of money. 
 At least that's what he said.
But if I told you all that stuff I figure it would probably bore you.  And I could tell you how just because I'm not posting here,
 every single day right now,
 doesn't mean I don't have anything to say. 
 But life sometimes gets in the way of posting. 
 However today, yes today, is the day I have to take time to tell you this. 
 I'm not exactly sure why today is the day, but it is.
January 2008, was the last time I was back to the home that I grew up in.  It was important to me to go down to the native stone basement and take a photo of this appliance that our family called "the deep freeze".  This is where we kept our frozen food.  With 10 children, this was a very valuable item for my mother to keep her family adequately fed.  I'm pretty sure in 2008 this old chest freezer was still working. 
Years before, after I graduated high school and wanted to go to college, I was having a discussion with Mother about the cost of college and how we would pay for it and such concerns that were weighing me down.  My parent's were living "the Dave Ramsey, Financial Peace lifestyle" probably before Dave Ramsey was even born if I'm truly honest about it, though I don't know how old Dave Ramsey is. 
I knew that loans were out of the question for college, and my parents never ever had a credit card, so we just did things a little differently, I suppose.  Well yeah, we did things differently.
Anyway, as I was voicing my concerns about expense and college and money, my mother stopped me with her soft wisdom and said, "Rachel, you know when Carlton (my oldest brother) went away to college, I was so overwhelmed and fretful.  I had no idea how we were going to make it and live and pay for college, but I remembered that we had just bought "the deep freeze".  It was brand new, and I knew it still had value.  I realized that if we had to we could sell "the deep freeze" to pay for Carlton's college and we would be fine.  Now all nine of the other children have gone to college, and it's going to work out for you the way it is supposed to work out."
And it did.
And it has, I guess.
I think Carlton went to college in 1955 and there in 2008 still sat "the deep freeze".
I wish I could be like Mother.  My husband says I probably am.
I will be honest. My heart breaks for my family and friends who are struggling with life issues, death of loved ones, terminal illness, financial struggles, children with problems and you know how the list goes on.  It seems no one is exempt from struggles.  In our humanity there are situations that we simply can't fix.  It just has to work out the way it is supposed to work out.   There are concerns in our life that can give me overwhelming fear, if I let it consume me. I absolutely cannot bear the weight of it. I have to keep bringing myself back to the arms of the Great Shepherd, where I have no needs. HE knows best, provides best, IS best.  I can only try to do my best to dwell in that place of PEACE.  I try to make the best decision each minute and trust that it will add up to a life lived well.
So, "the deep freeze" old, rusty, dinged up from use, and even spray painted to spruce it up again,  since the summer after graduating high school, has been an icon of provision, and a landmark to remind me to hold steady, stay the course, have faith and trust, even when I feel it ebbing away.
So nope, I'm not gonna tell you ALL that other stuff...only this: "the deep freeze"
 and for some reason,
today was the day.
Hold on you guys. 
Until I'm back, I send love and prayers your way.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Happy New Year and six years of blogging!

Our daughter wanted "2014 themed" meals today.
She thought of using cookie cutters to make the sandwiches.
 How can it be that 6 years ago, I posted my first blog post?
  Scary huh?
Happy New Year, 2014.
I'm glad to meet ya.
Be kind to all of us please!
Good bye, 2013.
You taught me a lot.
I hope I learned well.