Wednesday, May 21, 2014

How To Cut An Onion Without Crying

At the very bottom of this blog post,
you will find the directions for cutting an onion without crying.
In my experience, if I vary from this at all,
I will cry...
so I do it the same way every time.
Do not vary from the directions.
If you want to read the story behind the method, then keep reading!
Thanks for stopping by!
I'm not picky about the type of onion that I buy...sweet, Vidalia, white, etc.
I buy what is on sale,
unless I need a red one to garnish a salad.
I don't eat raw onions.
Nope, just will not do it...don't care for the smell or taste!
And I love vegetables, but is an onion really a vegetable?
However I know they are extremely healthy,
so I usually include them in meat dishes
or stir fry
and when we have a meal
that I know my guests will enjoy them as a garnish.
My onions are stored under our kitchen island in a large plastic bowl.
I always chop the whole onion.
Any I don't use, goes straight into a Ziploc bag
and promptly to the freezer,
ready for use in a cooked meal.
That way my fridge doesn't smell like freshly chopped onion either...
just a few of my quirks revealed here!

I originally posted this on January 12, 2010,
but have been asked how I cut an onion without crying,
so I am re posting it today.
At Christmas one of my sisters was here for a few days.
We were having a large family meal with my husband's side of the family.
A big bowl of chopped onions was part of the menu (chili...another post).
I plopped 3 very large onions down on the counter and told my sister,
"Here, chop these."
I went about my business with other "kitcheny things"
like you do preparing a meal,
when suddenly I realized that I was crying,
no actually bawling...
a full on 4 tissue cry!
I thought, "What in the world?"
Looking at my sister, saw that she was crying too.
Her eyes were clamped tightly closed
with her nose daintily tipped in the air.
Her hands were stretched as far away from herself as possible
and still be able to chop the onion.
Tears were streaming down her face.
I apologized profusely through my tears for making her cry.
Now, doesn't that sound silly?
I had no idea that chopping onions
would have that effect on her or myself for that matter!
I said, "I never cry when I chop onions,
I wouldn't have asked you to do it if I'd have known they made you cry."
She wanted to know how I chopped an onion,
so I grabbed a knife and an onion and started to show her.
Then we began to laugh.
How could I possibly show her that my way of chopping an onion
doesn't make you cry...we were both in a full on cry at the time! A few days later and hundreds of miles away she sent me a text message. She'd cut an onion for a meal,
and she hadn't cried!
It feels very egotistical to call cutting an onion MY WAY...
I didn't even really realize that I had "a way" until I started to show her,
then Ah ha, it hit me...
I do this the same way
Ah the things learned from a Sis! I just wonder if this will work for anyone else.
Last night I chopped an onion
and I could feel the "onion juice" spray on my fingers
and I did feel a slight burning sensation in my eyes and I thought,
"Oh no, I've put myself on the line here
and now I'm truly gonna cry."
But the sensation went away and I didn't cry.

I'm sorry these photos are blurry,
but quite frankly I was a tad bit grossed out
with the idea of getting onion juice on the camera,
so this is what I got.

And speaking of onion juice,
when I'm finished chopping,
I put a tiny bit of dish detergent in my hands
and hold a stainless steel spoon while I wash the soap off of my hands...
no stinky onion smell!
So well there,
now I've told you all I know about chopping an onion in about 8.7 minutes. I'd love to know if this works for you too.
1. Cut the stem of the onion off first.
2. Peel down the papery skin and the first layer of the onion sorta like shucking corn. You know what that is right?
3. Cut off the root and the papery skin stuff and the first layer or two of the onion all a the same time...just cut right across all of it and separate it from the bottom of the onion.
4. Set the onion down on a cutting board, stem end down on the board..
5. Make a slice through the onion, vertically, in half, with the root end towards you...remember you put the stem end down on the cutting board.
6. Then lay both halves of the onion down on the plate cut side down.
7. Begin to make slices through one half of the onion, starting at the stem side, cutting so the slices make little arches.
8. Turn the onion half that is sliced in little arches around, and make another cut across the arches to make little onion pieces. You can make all of these slices as big or as little as your recipe demands. For stir fry I make big slices and for meat dishes, I try to make little tiny slices.
9. If you have a food processor, none of this matters anyway.
10. Hurry stop reading this and go chop an onion. Do a happy dance if you don't cry. Be sure to wash away the stinky onion juice holding a stainless steel spoon, and then rush right back to your computer and tell me if it works for you too.
If it does...I think I'll just set right down and have myself a good cry, a full on 4 tissue bawl my eyeballs out kind of cry!

Happy chopping.
Love, Rachel

I'm sorry for the blurry pictures. I hope they helped a tiny bit.
As soon as I can, I will update the photos.
P.S. If you read to the very end of all of this, thank you thank you so much!
On a side note:
Last night as she sauntered into the kitchen our little girl said, "By the way, what's for supper mama? It's gotta be something romantic!" "Romantic!" I said, "Where'd ya get that idea?"
I wonder if chicken tacos qualifies as romantic?
She must have thought so because she scurried around to write menus and set up a restaurant!


Donnie Pirtle said...

I read this way back when. It does work IF I remember the correct steps in cutting it. Have a wonderful day.

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

Since I suffer so much when cutting onions...I am definitely going to try this. Root side down..right? I hope I can remember this...and not do the opposite! :)