Miss America

Growing up in the South, where beauty pageants are prevalent, as a means of winning scholarship money for college, I have followed the Miss America pageant with interest.

 

  In 1995, along with other American moms I marveled at the ability of Heather Whitestone, Miss America 1995.  So a few months ago when I found this book at the thrift store for a dollar, I was quick to purchase it.  When I began to read it I found it hard to put down. 

 

Heather went profoundly deaf around the age of two after an illness.  The story of her mom's courage to help her to persevere and achieve against all odds is simply convicting.  Through grueling effort and immense sacrifice Heather learned to read lips and interpret vibrations and learned to speak and converse as a deaf person in a spoken world. 

 

When Christopher Reeve (the screen actor of Superman) was injured in the horse riding accident that left him completely paralyzed and able to speak only in rhythm with his respirator forcing oxygen into his lungs, my husband and I had many conversations about how people with disabilities find something deep within that causes them to rise up and achieve in spite of the odds.

 

Then there are people like me, who have no apparent disabilities, who are as paralyzed and stunted as though they were the one in the wheelchair or profoundly deaf.

 

So I have repeatedly asked myself, what holds me back?

 

What is paralyzing me from reaching my potential?

 

What is holding me back from fulfilling the purpose that God has for my life.

 I believe from the depths of my being if we are living and breathing, God has a plan for us, a path for us to walk, a place of service, a circle of influence.

 

Am I paralyzed

by fear

by financial lack

by financial plenty

by intimidation

by lack of knowledge

by abuse

by busyness

by clutter

by disorganization

by the inability to say no to good in order to say yes to the best

by perfection

by lack of faith

by lack of trust

by loss of hope

by physical pain

by physical disability

by mental confusion

by depression

by frustration

by not knowing what to do next

by dependence on addictions

by regret of past mistakes

by perceived failures

by lack of courage

by exhaustion

???

 

Oh my, the list could go on and on.

What holds me back?

What holds you back?

 

If I allow myself to be held back from my life's purpose, my calling, God's plan for me, then in reality I am as paralyzed as Christopher or as deaf a Heather.

 

Heather had to learn to interpret vibrations and how to cause her voice to mimic those movements. It took time and energy and unimaginable effort.

 Christopher had to learn to breath again with the help of a respirator and therapist. It was a process.

 

I have to learn to hear God's voice. 

 Interpret His plan. 

 It takes time and energy and effort. 

 It doesn't happen overnight.

 

I believe that we must pursue faith and trust. 

 We choose to move past regret and into hope. 

 Search for courage. 

 Seek knowledge and advice.

  Overcome addiction. 

I agree that is isn't easy and there can be road blocks at every turn.  I know that we can feel as though we stumble and fall flat on our face, lying there, heaving, gasping for the next breath, sighing, sobbing, wondering how to get back up. 

I get it.

ALL OF IT!

I DO.

But I know that God is greater and bigger and stronger than any of that, and HE will help me, help you...even when it feels like HE isn't doing anything to help us, HE is!

 

God has put everything we need inside each one of us to be what we were created to be.

  Wouldn't that be silly to think that we were supposed to fulfill a purpose, but we didn't have what we needed to achieve? 

 And yes, I think we have to fight for it sometimes. 

We have to fight to find our potential.

 It doesn't always come easy.

  Sometimes we can't see it in ourselves, but it is there, waiting to bloom.

Each person, in their own way, is a beautiful thing, being what they were meant to be.

 

If we are living and breathing, there is still a plan and a purpose for us.

 

So today's my birthday!

 And I'm happy about it. 

 That means HE'S not finished with me yet.

HE is still molding me and working on me to be what HE needs so I can fulfill HIS plan for my life.

 

No, sometimes I don't see the way clearly, well actually a lot of times I don't see the way clearly. 

  It's one baby step at a time and sometimes two or three back probably, but I have this moment.

 I want to do my very best with it. 

 Make the best choices I can. 

 I want to make the  most of it. 

 Then I can trust that when I look back at my life it will be filled with the knowledge that I'm  SO NOT perfect, but I know I was doing my best.

 

So here's to you too...

just go make it a Happy Happy Day...

one moment at a time! 

She's So Amazing and A Recipe Box

She asked if I could help with a project. 

It was an  honor to be asked, to be found trustworthy with the nitty gritty of life.

I was able to include our daughter, so that made it even better.

When we went into her kitchen, there on the counter was this brilliant idea.

She needed a place to keep her recipe books, so she simply turned a file box on its side and made a perfect little cubby to keep them orderly and organized.

I LOVED IT!

She gave me permission to take a picture and blog about it.

"What?" she said, "My old banker's box.  You want a picture of that?"

I told her how amazing and brilliant I thought she was.

 

Don't you love this idea too?

I can think of a lot of great uses for something like this.

 

Rachel

Sunshine!

Good morning Sunshine! 

Yellow cheer

fresh from the field;

a handpicked bouquet given with love from a child.

 

What is on your agenda for the week?

Please take time for tiny joys and other little

"pops" of sunshine.
Your life deserves it.

 

Rachel

Ragged and Real Reflections on Mothering

 One bright fall morning, September 2011, as I prayed through scripture for my children, my eyes fell on the date I had written on this bookmark and I felt my breath catch in my throat.  There at the top of the column I saw where I had written,

"I started praying these for my children 9/01",

 Ten years before, someone had given me this bookmark that had

 31 Biblical Virtues to pray for your kids. 

 Each day of the month had a different scripture to pray for your children.

So, I wrote the date on it and I put it in my Bible and kept it there to use each day.

 I took it as a challenge and began praying the specific verse of the day for my children.

  On that Fall day about two years ago, I realized how quickly those 10 years had flown by and how much had changed in our lives.

  I wrestled with the angst of the passing of time, the growing of children, the learning of lessons, life, good times, hard times.  And now 10 years had evaporated. I had prayed verse by verse as the years slipped past unnoticed.

I dunno...maybe it's the perfectionism in me that I constantly strive to keep in balance, or the desire to succeed, or simply my mothering instinct of love,

but I have never described myself as

 "a good mother".

You know, lying down at night and thinking, "I've been a really great mom today. My kids are so blessed to have me as their awesome mother!"

Nope, that's just not something I've done.

I do lie down and know I have done the best I could.

 Though my deepest desire and highest goal has been to be a really great mom, I have always thought that I didn't quite measure up, but measure up to what? 

Am I trying to measure up to what I see other mom's doing, or what people tell me I should be doing?

Who sets that standard of what a successful and great mom is?

That's a silly thought when I'm trying every way possible to do my very best with each phase of life.

But never the less, there it has been, the nagging feeling that I need to do more and be more, and time just flies right on past.

So in my moments of reflection that day, I was so glad I had written the date on the bookmark in my Bible.

It was a reminder of the passage of time, but also it helped me to realize that if I had done nothing else good or edifying for my children, right there in front of me was proof that I had been praying specifically for my children each day, focused and specifically praying for them.

I felt gratefully relieved.

So yeah, I'm just being ragged and real, with my battered and inferiority feelings exposed.

 I mess up and I have to say I'm sorry over and over. 

I've made a gob of mistakes and learned a ton of lessons.

 I get tired and at a loss for words or ideas. 

It's easy to feel like the worst mom on the planet.

Yeah, ya know, GLOBALLY, the worst mom.

However, I want my children to know and feel that every breath is one I breathe for them.

They are at the center of my prayer.

Their eternal soul is my greatest passion.

 

I have a sneaking suspicion that there might be a couple of moms (yeah, two moms) out there who may relate to a tiny bit of this...just a teensy smidgin'.

Don't allow yourself to look back in regret.

Time will fly right on past whether spending energy looking back in regret or looking forward with purpose.

My thoughts and prayers for my children are focused toward a new direction.

So I'm on it.

Moving ahead.

Oh, and I better put a date on it or 10 years will fly right on past before I realize it.

 

I've shared this poem before.  It is still an awesome reminder.

No matter the phase of life in which you find yourself...

 

DON'T QUIT

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

- Author unknown

 

Rachel

Symphony Music in the Background

Sunrise!

Each morning I speak thankfulness for

a new day,

new mercy,

new wisdom,

new strength to face the day.

Outside my window, the morning sunrise is

a miracle every 24 hours!

Do you love to see the sun come up?

 

Rachel

I Can't Do That

 The dew is fresh and still, resting on the bloom laden strawberry plants.

 The morning sings a brilliant melody of Spring.

The miracle silently waits, obscure and unbidden, void of notice or attention.

Miraculous dew! Oh gorgeous and beautiful dew!

I can't do that.

Can you?

 

Rachel

In 40 Days

 From this

to this in only 40 days.

That is nothing short of miraculous, y'all.

So Marshmallow the duck really fluffed up.

At least she can still catch her ( him?) and hold her.

I had no idea ducks grew so fast.

Did you?

 

Rachel