Thursday, September 12, 2013

How To Build A Deck From Pallets (with no hammer or nails)


Remember one of the few days in March  that was warm enough to be outside working?
And you found yourself
at home alone?
Gasp!
Unheard of!
Alone!
With NO car!
You were just absolutely stuck at home at the pure mercy of yourself.
Remember how it was such a bare bones kind of day?
It was the kind of day that if it's gonna happen,
ya just gotta grit your (or yer) teeth (or tooth) and make it happen!
Remember how it was the kind of day that was cloudy and overcast and slightly warm?
 
And remember how there was just a teeny tiny hint
 of cabin fever
 stirring in your bones?
And you had a ton of work to do,
 but the wheels of the grill were sinking into the freshly thawed soil,
AND
 you knew that the wheels of the grill were so HIGHLY important that they couldn't possibly be allowed to sink into the freshly thawed soil,
AND
you thought about how incredibly hard it is to grill and balance yourself while wearing high heels 
(because doesn't everyone wear high heels when they grill)
 and not let your heels sink right into the freshly thawed soil also, 
AND
 you knew how high heels are HIGHLY important too,
(haha, that's funny)
AND
remember how you thought
maybe,
just maybe,
 it would get warm enough
hopefully at least by September
to actually use the grill?  
So remember what you did?
You just rolled up your pretty little sleeves,
or maybe you simply took off your jacket,
but anyway,
even though you were all alone,
you built yourself
a little bitty perfectly splendiferous
REDNECK DECK!
   
However,
 in the full disclosure of honesty,
 as I hang my head,
I admit,
 I am the one who built the
REDNECK DECK.
It was just so simple it's almost unbelievable
and I'm not sure if I should be "appropriately" proud
or "stingingly" humiliated.
That's how simple it is!
 
Our son came home from college and said,
"Mom, aren't you gonna make the deck come all the way over to the porch?"
"Well, not right now, I'm not.  You and your dad can do that."

He must think I'm really amazing like that.
Maybe he was trying to build my confidence.
He was probably embarassed of how it looked!

However, after adding mulch and a few flowers, our REDNECK DECK, grilled its little self right through Spring, and Family Reunion, and late Summer and early Fall.
Who knows? 
Maybe we will use it to roast marshmallows on Christmas Eve, because after all, my high heels won't sink in the dirt!
So here's the how to:
We have a fire pit.
That's another story.
I won't tell that now.
Be glad!
We allow the neighbors to put things on the fire pit to burn.
 
(Definition: n. fire pit - a place for cozy and romantic talks around  a fire of small and well contained  glowing embers where the cheerful participants are seated on hollow logs or plush bales of straw -
Definition: n. fire pit - also known as burn pile where previously mentioned fire of small and well contained glowing embers is actually a huge roaring blaze which singes the leaves of the nearby ash tree and the cheerful participants are standing on guard with a 100' length of garden hose spouting water into the fire in hopes of keeping the local fire department at bay.)
 
Our fire pit more closely fits the latter description of burn pile!
~Sigh~
 
Due to a series of events that is a VERY VERY VERY long story the sorts of which I will probably never disclose here,
(be glad about that too)
our burn pile had grown quite large with pieces of wood and vines and such.
One cold blustery day in the winter some wonderful someone put a PALLET there on the burn pile.
I have no idea whom I can thank for bequeathing such a lovely piece of usefulness to us.
But right there it was, a wood pallet, on the burn pile, waiting its turn to be consumed in flames. 
It was the fabulous kind of wood pallet fit for all sorts of amazing creations.
As I looked at it
(and it looked longingly back at me, I think)
after a little thought and consideration...
...hhhhmmm...
I realized that it would be just absolutely a fine thing to do on that cloudy and overcast and slightly warm day
in March,
to make a deck from the pallet.
I'm sure it shouted YIPPEE as I pulled it from the burn pile.
I'm just almost certain of that.
So I laid the pallet on the ground.
I found a piece of plywood.
I laid the plywood on top of the wood pallet.
The two fit together just splendidly.
 
Like of course,
 the wood pallet and the plywood,
 so totally knew that someday, someone, somewhere,
would see their potential and bring them together.
 
The only problem I had with the whole proposition
was that three corners of my deck were just a little unstable
if you stood over there on the corner,
because the pallet wasn't the same size as the sheet of plywood.
 
I'm absolutely CERTAIN that it had nothing at all to do with the fact that I was not using
hammer and nails.
This was a "use -what- you- have- on- hand- don't- buy- a- single- bit- of- anything" kind of day or project rather.
Though I admit, we do have hammers and nails of all sorts and sizes.
But I just didn't want to use any.
Because, that's why!
And it is much more interesting to me now that I stuck to my guns
(whatever that means)
and didn't use a hammer or nails.
However, we had a few cement blocks stacked away,
that I was willing to drag all the way around there,
and with a little leveling of the dirt with a shovel, the cement blocks stabilized the edges just fine.
Just as I started to paint the deck floor, it began to rain.
I finished painting it later.

Earlier this week we received a beautiful full color pamphlet in the mail from a local builder.
In it large custom homes were showcased and they even had sketches of the floor plans.
Our son was amazed at the opulence of one of the homes.
He said, "Look Mom, this one even has a GRILL DECK!"
"Grill deck?" I thought. 
Grill deck, yes, yes not REDNECK DECK!
That's it!!

I said, "Well of course, we have a GRILL DECK too!"
And I pointed out that way.
He smiled.
"Yes mom, I know.  Of course we do!"

Though I highly doubt that our Grill Deck is quite to the quality and character of the opulent space advertised in the pamphlet, at least he agreed with me!

So that my sweet peeps...
if you've stayed with me to the brutal end...
is how you build a grill deck out of a wood pallet with no hammer or nails.

You're welcome!

4 comments:

Phyllis @Around the House said...

I love the pallet idea, perfect for that spot, redneck or not it works...love all the flowers in the perfect fall colors...Phyllis

pse said...

That sound exactly the way Mother would have done it!

Judy said...

Redneck or not I love it!

Donnie Pirtle said...

So good and funny! They taught us well and you remembered. It served well for the family reunion and several people stood on it at the same time and it didn't fall in, GOOD JOB! Have a wonderful and creative day.