The Size and Shape of Having Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

..

Have you sung it?

Or heard it?

You know

the Christmas song

that tells you

all about letting your heart be light

and letting the yuletide glow

and telling you from now on

your troubles will be

MILES AWAY,

as in olden days,

happy golden days?

It is all so

"Norman Rockwellish"

and

"Thomas Kincaidish"

and our hearts long for

merry

and bright

and joy

and perfect holiday meals

and parties

and family gatherings

and kissing under the mistletoe

and romantic sleigh rides.

When in reality,

there are bills to pay

and relationships to mend

and doctor visits

and anxiety

and fear

and pain

and grief

and loneliness

in the midst of a crowd

and tears

amidst laughter

and false smiles.

This morning

as the choir sang

I saw her
(I leaned over and told Philip,
"I see Melody singing this.")

in my mind

and in my heart,

there she stood

beautiful red hair

purposeful countenance...

and I felt memories
pool in the corners of my eyes
and 

slip from underneath my eyelids

and slide down my cheeks

and drip from my face.

I could hear her voice

and in another scene,

in my mind,

I saw her family standing

on the bridge

that exited the stage,

a prop...

there they stood singing.

And my heart broke

as I heard her voice

singing of

"The Spirit of Christmas."

Though, I did feel peaceful

as I contemplated her reality

of knowing true Christmas.

Afterwards,

we ate lunch

and then I sat down

at the piano to play

some Christmas songs.

As my fingers

danced through the notes of

"Have A Holly Jolly Christmas",

I heard the sounds

of 35 or 40 pairs of feet

as we shuffled across

the highly polished gym floor

of

Mountainburg High School gymnasium.

We attempted to quietly

assemble ourselves

on the risers

while Bren Marshell,

the high school choir pianist,

played the introduction to

"Have A Holly Jolly Christmas."

I really did,

in my mind,

I heard the distinct bass notes

just as he played them

and I heard our shuffling,

like we were shuffling

all those years ago,

as in olden days,

happy golden days.

And I wonder why?

Why do I remember

these random things?

And see them?

Why today?

And I think of those

whom I love

and care about...

And there are many

longings unfulfilled

and needs seemingly unmet

and relationships unmended

and grief borne

and sorrows uneased

and peace...

well...peace is surely...

out there somewhere...

and trust is wavering

and faith is ebbing away,

ALL WHILE JUST SIMPLY

TRYING TO HAVE

A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS.

Reality isn't found in

the Norman Rockwell

picture perfect traditions

OR

the Thomas Kincaid

lights all aglow

beaming out,

there's no place like home.

No, unfortunately,

for many

that just isn't reality!

But the good news is...

for the dysfunction

AND

the broken,

for all of us

any size

any shape...

JESUS CAME

the size...

a tiny baby

the shape...

a manger,

JESUS CAME.

Tiny size

Manger shaped...

JESUS

Wonderful Counselor

Prince of Peace

Almighty God

Everlasting Father

Comforter

Healer

Provider

Prince of Peace

Strong Tower

Miraculous Mind Blower

Awesome Game Changer

My Best Friend

And that,

yes

THAT IS

"The size and shape

of

having  yourself a merry little Christmas!"