Saturday, February 21, 2015

Wait, What? Paralyzed?

We used to sit on the porch
 and have "picnics" as impromptu
 as a summer thunderstorm. 
potato chips
just whatever we had
we rushed through the kitchen 
opening cabinet doors
 pulling drawers
scrambling for the 
"picnic food"
as though we were dodging the
first large drops of rain.
it was all
 plopped with a thunder clap
into the over sized basket,
spread on the quilt
on the floor
like dice in a fast game 
"something or the other"
It wasn't 4th of July
just an ordinary
regular day
Holidays weren't necessary,
no not at all.

Not much planning was involved.
The thought kind of dropped into
our head
like a spider sliding down
on a single line of web
from the ceiling,
then the picnic thought touched our brain
it was assembled quickly
and eaten quickly
as though if not 
scarfed down in haste,
the moment would pass...
But the memories,
 the memories linger.

stir longing.
longing for home
longing for the way things used to be
longing for Spring
longing for children
longing for love
longing for the past 
longing for food
longing for sleep
longing for peace
longing for hope
longing for things just out of reach.

Longings can
hold you back
take your breath away
render you as immobile as
 Christopher Reeve
after his horse riding accident,
set in stone,
a pillar of salt...
just like Lot's wife
who dared to look back,

Yes, longing can truly do that.

longing can
hinder you 
cause you to stumble
to fall,
Move forward
reach out
find someone to help
to hug
to speak words of comfort 
or life.

You never know who may be hanging...
on longings...
hanging on longings
like it is their last thread, 
a very fine and delicate thread
 stretching to you 
tugging for hope.

You just never really know,
but your lowest of lows,
your deepest and darkest sorrow,
could possibly be the very door
that opens to the fulfillment of your destiny.

Are you paralyzed?
Are you a pillar of stone,
a statue of salt?
I refuse to be.

I admit it.
I am truly filled with longing.

My longings are different 
than your longings
most likely,
but they won't define me.
And they don't need to define you
I refuse to let them paralyze me,
to hold me back.
I purpose for my longings 
reveal the door of my next step
that leads to fulfilling my destiny.

What are your longings.
Is something paralyzing you?
Defining you? 


Donnie Pirtle said...

WOW. again! I am thankful we have our memories to go to when we have the longings for the past. Hope you have a wonderful day.

Kathi said...

This is beautiful, Rachel. Thank you for sharing it. Thank you for your kind and encouraging words to me. You bless my life. You encourage me very much. God bless you sweet sister. Kathi

Rose of Sharon said...

I love this! This is so me. I long for the old days. I don't mean to, but I do. I am thankful, however, that I do appreciate today as well and I try to soak in memories of the moments I'm living now, but I feel like it's weird and almost sinful the way I try to hold on to these memories. Why can't I just live the wonderful times and let them go? I think when empty nest hit me is when I got "paralyzed" and I want to "walk again" with just living happy and spontaneous que sera, sera. Thank you for this beautiful poem, you nailed it on the head for me. P.S. It is fun to reconnect with you again. I have been blogging all along since 2007 when I first started, but it has slowed down the past couple of years and now I'm kind of getting into it again. It's been fun to reconnect with some of the old blogging friends like you! :)