To The Groom

See the man in the middle?

Yes, the handsome one.

  I don't tell you enough how amazing he is. 

I know him well! 

 As he stood there,

with those other men,

 I wanted to jump up and down

 and yell out a good ole' high school cheer,

 but I just quietly held my phone,

down low,

obscurely,

 and snapped a photo,

 as I blinked back tears

 and hoped the picture wasn't blurry.

 

And all those years ago,

 when I stood in a fluffy white dress, 

 at the end of the aisle,

with flowers on one arm,

 and my hand clutching Daddy's elbow,

 waiting for the church bells to ring six times,

so we could take the walk down the aisle to HIM,

the one in the middle,

 who wasn't in the middle then,

 but oh so front and center

 and MY groom. 

 There he stood

 much like he is in this photo,

 handsome, smart, witty, diligent and loyal

 and I was in love,

over the moon,

head over heels,

heart racing,

jittery, quivery,

melt my heart,

IN LOVE...

 

 or so I thought.

 

But I found out

 that love is way more than what I felt that day,

 that moment when my heart was pounding

 with excitement and joy.

 

I found out that love is...

 

the frustrated moments

 sad moments

 happy moments

 gut wrenching moments

 I don't know what to do moments

 eyes meeting across the room moments

I don't have another single idea moments
the praying moments

 I'm sick of this moments

 I'm tired moments

 your hand holding mine moments

 can you believe this moments

 catch you off guard moments

I can't take one more thing moments

 

And I found out 

LOVE is
 knowing

 in all these moments,

that you have each others back.

Your arms are linked.

You've got this...

 together.

It's solid.

It's love.

 

Life is a roller coaster. 

I don't know if we are going up

or

going down...

but I know we are definitely

GOING!

 

And the handsome one in the middle...

I'm still in LOVE.

Desperately.

Yep, I would walk down the aisle all over again

and do THIS LIFE all over again

with HIM.

Just HIM.

And the other day when he said he just didn't like himself very much,
and I wanted to cheerfully quip,
"Well, it's a good thing I do then."
Instead I just reached for his hand.

 

Nope, it's not our anniversary.

He's just that amazing!

3 Things You Should Know...at the risk of stating the obvious

 Yes, at the risk of stating the obvious...

 I recently found out that some people don't know these things:

1. Milk comes from cows.

2. Eggs come from chickens.

And as my once tiny son ask,

"Mom, do cows come from hamburger meat?"

So...

3.  Yes, cows come from hamburger meat!

 

There ya' go!

At the risk of stating the obvious, 

those are the three things I think you should know.

 

You're welcome!

:)

5 Tips For Overcoming Shyness

I'm shy.

Painfully shy.

As I child I remember hiding behind Mother,

not wanting to be seen.

 

Fifth grade was extremely difficult.

I remember talking to my mother.

Crying.

Waking from bad dreams at night.

 

I quickly realized if I were to survive,

I must learn to cope.

It took years,

learning,

growing,

developing to overcome.

 

It's still there.

Inside.

With our businesses and customers,

I can't come across as shy...uncertain.

This is what I've learned.
Maybe these 5 tips will help you too.

 

1.  Smile: 
 Make your eyes twinkle.
  Others are drawn to happy people and it makes them wonder what you've been doing. 

 

2.  Make eye contact:
 Practice awareness of your surroundings
 and make eye contact with other people. 
 As you do this you realize how many other people are struggling with similar issues.  You can see worry or weariness or shyness etched in their countenance too and you realize you aren't so all alone. Then it is easier to reach out.

 

3. Compliment the other person: 
You don't have to know someone to compliment them.
 People like to be noticed,
 to feel special,
 to realize someone is noticing them. 
Throw your attention off yourself and get them talking about their interests.  Mention their cute purse or shoes.  Tell them they are doing a great job.

 

4. Shake hands:
  Most generally, in American culture,
 when meeting someone new it is appropriate to shake their hand and clearly state your name
 ("Hello, I'm Rachel.  It's my pleasure to meet you.")
 I will be honest. 
 For me this is difficult, but I find it to be very effective, because it adds a personal touch that most people won't take time to do.  I try to always do this. Use discretion, occasionally it isn't appropriate.  With practice it gets easier.

 

5.  Mimic their body language:
Subconsciously, when you subtly "mirror"
the other person's body language, 
 they feel understood and barriers to communication come down.
 This takes practice too, because it is SUBTLE. 
 Did you read SUBTLE?

 

Those are the 5 things I've found most effective in overcoming my shyness,

 or should I say,

 trying to not appear painfully shy. 

 

Try it.

Make it a game.

You will see progress.

It takes time.

 

 I work at this constantly.

Sometimes I "flub up".
 

But I keep trying.

Now you know some of my deepest and darkest secrets.

And that is painful!
I think I will go hide in a closet...
and sew on a wedding dress...
to assuage my pain, you know!

 

My daughter tells me I make friends everywhere I go.

She thinks it's effortless.

 

Ah! If she only knew the truth,

the hard fought truth.

Honestly, she and I have talked about these things,

how circumstances in fifth grade shaped me.

 

I'm an "over comer"!

I want to teach her to overcome

now in fifth grade.

 

Are you shy?

What have you done to overcome?

Funny Face!

 Isn't cropping photos an amazing thing?  

 I remember cropping photos in high school

 the "old fashioned" way with a slide rule "gizmo thingy".

I think we called it a "cropper".

  And even back then I thought it was amazing.

It is one of the fun things about photo editing...

in my opinion.

  A cropped photo can certainly change your perspective.

It can tell a different story.

 A  "cropped mind set" can form your perspective too.

Perspective is the way WE see things,

not the way our spouse sees things,

nor the way our children see things.

And OUR perspective comes from

our experiences,

our emotions,

our current circumstances,

our current peer pressure.

I enjoy trying to see life from different perspectives.
In my mind I imagine a different scenario and try to think how I might see things differently if the situation were changed.
I try to feel and see things the way others may feel and see.
I know ultimately it is impossible, but it is fun to try.
Just like cropping a photo!

 

Is it hard for you

to put yourself in another person's situation

and try to see things from their perspective?

No Foolin' Here

 "Are you foolin' me?" 

 I chuckled to myself

 as I looked out the  upstairs window

 of the sleeping porch. 

 The redbone coon hound pup

had perched himself on the

 "seesaw"

 or "teetertotter"

 or the "up and down thingy"

 of the play set. 

 Yeah, what do you call that thing? 

Have you ever seen a dog on a playground?

 Well, there he sat, pretty as could be. 

He had scooted the board sideways and off track.

 He seemed quite proud of his accomplishment. 

 He saw me taking his picture too,

 and slowly looked away,

 modestly,

 then slowly back again.

No I'm not foolin'.

 

  I was overjoyed to see

 that there is green grass peeking through

all the brown in the lawn!
How does that happen?
The earth has been frozen solid for weeks
and yet the roots revive with the slightest hint of warmth and sun.
 

For about "five glorious seconds" I could almost believe

that Spring is just around the corner!

 That's no foolin' either!

Soon we will be doing more

 than walking back and forth

 across the floor boards of the porch,
from the door to the steps
and the steps to the door,

 as the temperature warms up

 so will the awesome conversations we have here.

 

 Someone,

 the other day, was asking about my blog.

Why I've been silent they wanted to know.

 

I overheard my husband's response.

"Well,"

 he said, 

 "she hasn't been gone because she wants to be gone. 

 And it's certainly not because she's been sitting around doing nothing."

 

ah I LOVE him...I'm gonna keep him

 

My husband says to tell everything!

 

No foolin'.

 

What do you do when the ideas won't stop?

Your brain is full?

well sort of

Your heart is full?

yes certainly

The stories keep coming?

Life keeps happening?

 

There is so much adventure

and sorrow

and joy

and insight

and love

 

and highs

and lows

and change

 

and above it all a place of

quiet Peace.

 

What do you think about it all?