The Size and Shape of Having Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

..

Have you sung it?

Or heard it?

You know

the Christmas song

that tells you

all about letting your heart be light

and letting the yuletide glow

and telling you from now on

your troubles will be

MILES AWAY,

as in olden days,

happy golden days?

It is all so

"Norman Rockwellish"

and

"Thomas Kincaidish"

and our hearts long for

merry

and bright

and joy

and perfect holiday meals

and parties

and family gatherings

and kissing under the mistletoe

and romantic sleigh rides.

When in reality,

there are bills to pay

and relationships to mend

and doctor visits

and anxiety

and fear

and pain

and grief

and loneliness

in the midst of a crowd

and tears

amidst laughter

and false smiles.

This morning

as the choir sang

I saw her
(I leaned over and told Philip,
"I see Melody singing this.")

in my mind

and in my heart,

there she stood

beautiful red hair

purposeful countenance...

and I felt memories
pool in the corners of my eyes
and 

slip from underneath my eyelids

and slide down my cheeks

and drip from my face.

I could hear her voice

and in another scene,

in my mind,

I saw her family standing

on the bridge

that exited the stage,

a prop...

there they stood singing.

And my heart broke

as I heard her voice

singing of

"The Spirit of Christmas."

Though, I did feel peaceful

as I contemplated her reality

of knowing true Christmas.

Afterwards,

we ate lunch

and then I sat down

at the piano to play

some Christmas songs.

As my fingers

danced through the notes of

"Have A Holly Jolly Christmas",

I heard the sounds

of 35 or 40 pairs of feet

as we shuffled across

the highly polished gym floor

of

Mountainburg High School gymnasium.

We attempted to quietly

assemble ourselves

on the risers

while Bren Marshell,

the high school choir pianist,

played the introduction to

"Have A Holly Jolly Christmas."

I really did,

in my mind,

I heard the distinct bass notes

just as he played them

and I heard our shuffling,

like we were shuffling

all those years ago,

as in olden days,

happy golden days.

And I wonder why?

Why do I remember

these random things?

And see them?

Why today?

And I think of those

whom I love

and care about...

And there are many

longings unfulfilled

and needs seemingly unmet

and relationships unmended

and grief borne

and sorrows uneased

and peace...

well...peace is surely...

out there somewhere...

and trust is wavering

and faith is ebbing away,

ALL WHILE JUST SIMPLY

TRYING TO HAVE

A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS.

Reality isn't found in

the Norman Rockwell

picture perfect traditions

OR

the Thomas Kincaid

lights all aglow

beaming out,

there's no place like home.

No, unfortunately,

for many

that just isn't reality!

But the good news is...

for the dysfunction

AND

the broken,

for all of us

any size

any shape...

JESUS CAME

the size...

a tiny baby

the shape...

a manger,

JESUS CAME.

Tiny size

Manger shaped...

JESUS

Wonderful Counselor

Prince of Peace

Almighty God

Everlasting Father

Comforter

Healer

Provider

Prince of Peace

Strong Tower

Miraculous Mind Blower

Awesome Game Changer

My Best Friend

And that,

yes

THAT IS

"The size and shape

of

having  yourself a merry little Christmas!"

It Only Takes A Little

The room was shrouded in darkness.

I stumbled,

trying to find

 my way to the light switch 

on the wall across the room.

Pulling my cell phone from my pocket

I searched for the flashlight app 

on my phone screen.

Upon hearing the "squeee"...

from the flashlight turning on, 

the room flooded with light

and I could see!!

It never ceases to amaze me 

how light penetrates darkness.

With just a tiny light 

darkness is pushed away.

It's the same way with vinegar in water.

You see~

a little makes a big difference.

Think about:

Heat in the chill.

A smile toward the sad.

A hug to the lonely.

A forgiving word.

A prayer for the despondent.

Just a little.

Makes a difference.

We don't always know the extent or the impact.

In my Christian tradition, as I celebrate Christmas, 

we have entered the season we call 

Advent.

1.  a coming into place, view, or being; arrival:

the advent of the holiday season
.2.  the coming of Christ into the world.3.  the period beginning four Sundays before Christmas, 

observed in commemoration of the coming of Christ into the world.

During this season of joy,

 of Advent,

 I ponder:

One tiny Child,a world changer,  

simply by being...being willing.

Am I a world changer?

Do I make a difference?

Am I willing?

Does my light shine?

Does it dispel darkness?

vinegar in water,

heat in the chill,

a smile toward the sad,

a hug to the lonely,

a forgiving word,

a prayer for the despondent

Just a little.

Makes a difference.

In The Silence

Time passes.

Things change.

I got a text the other day 
from our son
 away at the University.

He said, 
"Oh, Okay,
 so what are we gonna do about it then?
 Just take it as it comes?"

I replied, 
"Yes, 
we won't cross that bridge 
till it's in front of us."

And that is the way life is.

Don't you think so too?

This summer and fall,

 especially,

 we have made decisions 

based on the necessity 

of the next half hour.

Whether that is right or wrong, 

I can't particularly say, 

but that is the way it has been.  

It has needed to be that way. 

I've told you before 

how much I appreciate you

 and our conversations here. 

In fact, 

I just absolutely love you.

I really do.

You faithfully read.

On and on 

you read

this.

I know I've been silent.

And once again, 

as I have said before,

it is not because 

I have had nothing to say.

No.No.No.

(shaking my head)

Life has been full

and challenging

and sad

and a lot of ups 

and downs

and laughter

and tears

and joy

and hugs

and sighs

and goodness

and blessings

and blessings

and more blessings.

And in the silence...

much has happened 

and time has passed

and things have changed

and we've learned

and grown more mature,

 hopefully.

So today,

 I thought of all that has transpired

since I wrote here last, 

in August.

And there is so much I can say, 

but I'm not going to right now.

I don't know 

that this is the time 

or place to lay it all out.

Today, 

also, 

I thought about God,

 and His silence in our lives sometimes.

And I felt a glimmer of encouragement 

as I thought 

about all the "stuff" that happens

  in the silence.

In those really quiet times,

Or dark places,

In between the words,

and actions,

and lines 

of life.

And God is.

He is there.

Doing something.

Working His best for our good.

Let that encourage you today.

In the silence.

Other Thoughts On Life and Living...all while riding a roller coaster

 We spent three glorious days

 in the beautiful
 Ozark mountains of Branson, Missouri. 

 Part of that time was spent riding roller coasters.

 When I first step onto a roller coaster

 the anticipation is high for the thrill of the ride.

um...sorta... 

 Can I just say, I DO NOT LIKE roller coasters?

  I do not like them. 

To say I don't like them,

 should not be confused

 with saying
 I'm scared to ride them. 

 I'm not scared.

 I just don't necessarily see

 any sane reason

 to have my hair flying through space

 and my head banging

 and my neck jerking

 and feeling my body be lifted off the seat

 as I plummet head long

 into the next upside down turn. 

However, when my kids want me to ride,

 I ride!

And I tell myself to shut my eyes,

 don't anticipate the turns or falls

and just enjoy the ride,

  feel the exhilaration,

sense the wind on my face,

feel the air pulling my brown curly hair,

 listen to the sounds,

mostly screams,

 and then the laughter

and sighing and more giddy laughter

 as the coaster slides to a quick and abrupt halt.

 In about two minutes and 45 seconds,

 it's all over

 and I step across the barrier to the exit.

I can look back at that point

 and see the five times

 I was hanging upside down,

 the times I was going up

 and coming down,

 and I  may even gasp and say,

 "I did that!"

I can walk through the gift shop

 and get a t-shirt describing

 the thrill of my ride

 on a steel track,

 rising to heights of 155 feet,

 reaching top speeds of 66 mph,

 and dropping down yet again 155 feet,

 all while coiling through Cobra Rolls

 and Full Loops.

  No I'm not scared.

I just don't like the uncertainty,

 the "out of controllness" of it all.

 

At times I've heard people say

 life is like a roller coaster. 

 I've said it too.

Because in the ride of life

we aren't in control.  

Do you agree?

 

When I step off the coaster

 and look back at all I just did

 as I rode that piece of machinery,

 putting my life

 in the trust of the designing engineer

and surveyors

who marked the positions

of the support beams

and  the controller

sitting at the desk,

 and computers

 and chains

 that keep it going, 

I think,

 "what was I doing?'

 

When you stop and think about it,

 life really is like that.

  We can't see the whole track,

 the path of life

 that we will journey. 

 We don't know the heights

 we will climb,

 and the depths

 to which we will drop,

 the upside down helplessness

 and the G force of pain or peril. 

 We don't know

 the times

 we will reach a tip top peak

 and sense the wonder of the view

from way up there. 

 

So I guess,

in reality,

we all just get on,

 with anticipation,

 and know that we just have to trust the Maker,
the Master Designer.
If we could see the whole track
of life
at one time
before we ever got started
or got on
maybe we couldn't endure~
maybe we couldn't
bear
the ride.

 We have to trust our Maker,

 for the whole journey,

not just parts of it,

no matter how bad you or I may want off,

there's no gettin' off. 

 

When my life is done,
 if I am allowed to look back
 and see the twists and turns,
the exhilaration and despair,
 the whole track of life
 that I travelled,
 I know I will say it was all worth it.
I might even sigh and say,
"I did that!" 

 

 "What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived"

 -- the things God has prepared for those who love him--

Holy Bible New Testament

1 Corinthians 2:9

I Suppose This Is What You Will Have To Do

When every door is closed,

closed tightly,

and there is not a single window opening,

then I suppose the best thing

you can do

 is patiently wait in the hallway.

 

Are you walking through open doors,

 or waiting in the hallway?

Old Testament

Book of Jeremiah chapter 29 verses 11-13

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,”
declares the Lord,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
 plans to give you hope and a future.
¹² Then you will call on me
 and come and pray to me,
 and I will listen to you.
¹³ You will seek me
 and find me
when you seek me with all your heart.

This Is What I Do Know...life is not always gentle.

In January I flew.

 

We had such a cold and snowy winter,

 

so it was a reprieve to go where there

 

was no snow.

 

Upon my return it was interesting to see

 

a distinct line

 

where the snow began.

 

I was returning to 16 degrees Fahrenheit,

 

and cold frigid winter.

 

Were it not for the perspective

 

of seeing the snow line from above the earth

 

it would have been easy to think that everyone

 

was enjoying snow.

 

Because "my world"

was covered and wrapped

 entirely in snow.

 

Perspective,

 yes,

perspective

 is how we

can attempt

to see things

 from a different point of view.

 

When I was expecting our first born son,

 

I began to wonder,

 

what my perspective would be,

 

if I could see life through the eyes of

 

Mary,

 

the blessed mother,

 

of the Christ Child.

 

I'm sure it wasn't easy

 

to travel in the condition in which she found herself.

 

Did she long for her circumstances to be different?

 

Did she have a willing heart?

 

Did she have a hopeful heart?

 

Was she resisting every change?

 

Or was she pursuing the future?

 

We can't know the answer,

 

but I believe anyone

 (any woman at least)

 

would have enough perspective to say,

 

Mary was walking through some really hard times.

 

But God provided a place:

 

in a manger.

 

God provided a protector:

 

in Joseph.

 

God provided for physical needs:

 

in the Magi who brought expensive gifts.

 

God provided love:

 

in adoring shepherds.

 

God provided celebration:

 

in the chorus of Heavenly Angels.

 

I have no way of knowing

 your perspective.

 

I have no way of truly knowing

 the depths of your pain.

 

I have no way of knowing

 the arduous journey you are travelling.

 

But I do know that God will provide.

 

I do know

 

LIFE IS NOT ALWAYS GENTLE,

 

but

 

GOD IS ALWAYS GOOD!

 

Feel blessed today.

"Medium Notes" of Pure Yum!

We eat a lot of fresh fruit and veggies.

 

Tonight it was

 

 nectarines

 

plums

 

and

 

blueberries.

 

Yum!

 

That's a new combination for us.

 

It's a new favorite.

 

The tangy tartness

 

of the nectarines and plums

 

paired very well

 

with the smooth and mild

 

blueberries.

 

You know,

 

if it was coffee

 

from a coffee shop,

 

it would likely be

 

described with

 

"medium notes

 

of something or the other exotic".

 

Just thought I should let ya know that.

 

What is your favorite summer fruit right now?

Why Do I Wonder These Things?

So after having all day today to think

 

 about the post I did last night

 

 about the wishberries,

 

I began to wonder...

 

what if I were a wishberry

 

so to speak?

 

Have you ever wondered that?

 

Have you wondered

 what it would be like

 if you were a wishberry?

 

I know...

that's a crazy thought.

 

What if  you and I were battered

 

by rain

 

and wind

 

or the innocent breath of by standers

 

or kicked around with a heavy leather boot

 

by the wiles of living?

 

What if the seeds of our lives just turned loose

 

and floated

 

floated away?

 

It's kinda freaky really

 

if you think about it,

 

because

 

that is happening constantly

 

to you

 

AND me.

 

The seeds of our lives

 

are spreading influence.

 

Influence for good,

 

or bad,

 

or indifference.

 

Where do those seeds go?

 

Actually, where have they gone?

 

Has my influence mattered?

 

Have I had a positive affect on others?

 

Have I brought joy

 

or encouragement?

 

Have I been faithful?

 

Have I been trustworthy?

 

Have I bloomed

 

where ever the seeds of my life have fallen?

 

In all my failings

 

as a wife,

 

a mom,

 

a friend,

 

a sister,

 

a daughter,

 

a daughter in law,

 

have I still had a positive influence?

 

We really can't control life

 

not really,

 

not absolutely.

 

We can do our best,

 

our very best,

 

with our circumstances,

 

and let that be good enough.

 

The wishberry seeds are blooming

 

where they are planted.