Wait, What? Paralyzed?

We used to sit on the porch

 and have "picnics" as impromptu

 as a summer thunderstorm. 

milk

potato chips

popcorn

carrots

just whatever we had

we rushed through the kitchen 

opening cabinet doors

 and

 pulling drawers

scrambling for the 

"picnic food"

as though we were dodging the

first large drops of rain.

Suddenly,

it was all

 plopped with a thunder clap

into the over sized basket,

then

spread on the quilt

and

scattered 

on the floor

like dice in a fast game 

of 

"something or the other"

It wasn't 4th of July

but

just an ordinary

regular day

bees-buzzing-by-the-window-sill-kind-of-day.

Holidays weren't necessary,

no not at all.

Not much planning was involved.

The thought kind of dropped into

our head

like a spider sliding down

on a single line of web

from the ceiling,

slooowwwly

sloowly,

then the picnic thought touched our brain

and

it was assembled quickly

and eaten quickly

as though if not 

scarfed down in haste,

the moment would pass...

un-lived.

But the memories,

yes,

 the memories linger.

Memories

stir longing.

longing for home

longing for the way things used to be

longing for Spring

longing for children

longing for love

longing for the past 

longing for food

longing for sleep

longing for peace

longing for hope

longing for things just out of reach.

Longings can

 paralyze 

hold you back

take your breath away

render you as immobile as

 Christopher Reeve

after his horse riding accident,

frozen,

set in stone,

a pillar of salt...

just like Lot's wife

who dared to look back,

to

~long~.

Yes, longing can truly do that.

Yes, 

longing can

hinder you 

cause you to stumble

to fall,

but

always

always

GET UP.

Move forward

reach out

find someone to help

to hug

to speak words of comfort 

or life.

You never know who may be hanging...

on longings...

hanging on longings

like it is their last thread, 

a very fine and delicate thread

 stretching to you 

tugging for hope.

You just never really know,

but your lowest of lows,

your deepest and darkest sorrow,

could possibly be the very door

that opens to the fulfillment of your destiny.

Are you paralyzed?

Are you a pillar of stone,

a statue of salt?

I refuse to be.

I admit it.

I am truly filled with longing.

My longings are different 

than your longings

most likely,

but they won't define me.

And they don't need to define you

either! 

I refuse to let them paralyze me,

to hold me back.

I purpose for my longings 

to 

reveal the door of my next step

that leads to fulfilling my destiny.

What are your longings.

Is something paralyzing you?

Defining you?