We used to sit on the porch
and have "picnics" as impromptu
as a summer thunderstorm.
milk
potato chips
popcorn
carrots
just whatever we had
we rushed through the kitchen
opening cabinet doors
and
pulling drawers
scrambling for the
"picnic food"
as though we were dodging the
first large drops of rain.
Suddenly,
it was all
plopped with a thunder clap
into the over sized basket,
then
spread on the quilt
and
scattered
on the floor
like dice in a fast game
of
"something or the other"
It wasn't 4th of July
but
just an ordinary
regular day
bees-buzzing-by-the-window-sill-kind-of-day.
Holidays weren't necessary,
no not at all.
Not much planning was involved.
The thought kind of dropped into
our head
like a spider sliding down
on a single line of web
from the ceiling,
slooowwwly
sloowly,
then the picnic thought touched our brain
and
it was assembled quickly
and eaten quickly
as though if not
scarfed down in haste,
the moment would pass...
un-lived.
But the memories,
yes,
the memories linger.
Memories
stir longing.
longing for home
longing for the way things used to be
longing for Spring
longing for children
longing for love
longing for the past
longing for food
longing for sleep
longing for peace
longing for hope
longing for things just out of reach.
Longings can
paralyze
hold you back
take your breath away
render you as immobile as
Christopher Reeve
after his horse riding accident,
frozen,
set in stone,
a pillar of salt...
just like Lot's wife
who dared to look back,
to
~long~.
Yes, longing can truly do that.
Yes,
longing can
hinder you
cause you to stumble
to fall,
but
always
always
GET UP.
Move forward
reach out
find someone to help
to hug
to speak words of comfort
or life.
You never know who may be hanging...
on longings...
hanging on longings
like it is their last thread,
a very fine and delicate thread
stretching to you
tugging for hope.
You just never really know,
but your lowest of lows,
your deepest and darkest sorrow,
could possibly be the very door
that opens to the fulfillment of your destiny.
Are you paralyzed?
Are you a pillar of stone,
a statue of salt?
I refuse to be.
I admit it.
I am truly filled with longing.
My longings are different
than your longings
most likely,
but they won't define me.
And they don't need to define you
either!
I refuse to let them paralyze me,
to hold me back.
I purpose for my longings
to
reveal the door of my next step
that leads to fulfilling my destiny.
What are your longings.
Is something paralyzing you?
Defining you?
